Valentine’s didn’t validate me this year.
So I validated my selfie.
And honestly?
That shift feels bigger than any bouquet ever could.
When Expectation Meets Reality
We like to pretend Valentine’s doesn’t matter.
“It’s commercial.”
“It’s marketing.”
“It’s just another day.”
But somewhere inside, there’s still a quiet desire:
Effort.
Not diamonds.
Not luxury.
Not grand gestures for Instagram.
Just effort.
And this year, I noticed something about myself.
I was waiting.
Not desperately.
Not dramatically.
Just subtly.
Waiting for a gesture.
Waiting for confirmation.
Waiting to feel chosen.
And the moment I realized I was waiting?
That’s when the lesson hit.
Because when you’ve rebuilt your life from the ground up — emotionally, financially, spiritually — you don’t outsource your worth anymore.
At least… you try not to.
Giving Love Another Chance
I’ve been open about rebuilding after divorce, burnout, betrayal, and reinvention.
I thought I had healed enough not to close my heart.
And I have.
But healing doesn’t mean you stop believing in love.
So when I chose to give love another chance, I didn’t do it halfway.
I committed.
I communicated.
I tried.
And I’m proud of that.
What I slowly realized though is this:
You cannot teach someone into emotional maturity.
You cannot accelerate someone’s timeline.
You can hold up a mirror.
But you cannot force someone to look.
And that’s a humbling lesson.
When Commitment Feels Lonely
There’s a very specific kind of loneliness that happens when you’re committed… but unsettled.
When you’re giving your all,
but not feeling safe.
When you’re communicating clearly,
but not feeling heard.
When you’re loyal,
but questioning consistency.
That doesn’t feel dramatic.
It feels exhausting.
My nervous system was on alert long before my ego admitted it.
Red flags don’t always scream.
Sometimes they whisper.
And when you’ve done deep inner work, you feel that whisper.
But sometimes you still try.
Because you believe in growth.
Because you believe in potential.
Because you believe love plus communication should equal alignment.
And sometimes… it doesn’t.
Breaking the Loop
The old version of me would have spiraled.
Overthought.
Overexplained.
Overextended.
This version?
Paused.
Observed.
Redirected.
I realized something powerful:
Breaking the loop doesn’t look dramatic.
It looks calm.
It looks like not sending the message.
Not chasing clarity.
Not negotiating dignity.
It looks like going to work.
Cleaning your house.
Focusing on your health.
Building your vision.
It looks like validating yourself instead of waiting to be validated.
And that shift?
That’s the glow-up.
Year of the Snake vs Year of the Horse
The Year of the Snake was about shedding.
Illusions.
Outdated patterns.
Old attachments.
It stripped things down to truth.
Now we enter the Year of the Horse.
And horse energy doesn’t circle.
It moves.
Forward.
Fast.
Decisively.
This is not the year I replay conversations in my head.
This is not the year I monitor words versus actions.
This is not the year I settle for emotional limbo.
If I am loyal, I expect loyalty.
If I am honest, I expect honesty.
If I commit, I expect consistency.
Not perfection.
Consistency.
The Real Validation
Valentine’s didn’t validate me.
But I validated my selfie.
And that validation didn’t come from flowers.
It came from clarity.
It came from choosing peace over panic.
Standards over stories.
Alignment over attachment.
I’m not closing my heart.
I’m raising my standard.
And that feels different.
Calm.
Grounded.
Powerful.
If someone wants to run beside me, they will.
Not walk behind.
Not disappear ahead.
Not ask me to shrink.
Run beside.
That’s partnership.
And I am no longer negotiating that.
If this resonates with you —
if you’ve ever tried to love someone into their potential…
if you’ve ever felt alone while committed…
if you’ve ever realized your body knew before your brain admitted it…
You’re not crazy.
You’re evolving.
And sometimes evolution requires release.
We are not looping this year.
We are accelerating.
As Always Extra RainbOH!w Sparkles & Good Vibes OH!nly ✨🦄💦🌈
/ Angelina Mi Lajki
