— Level Up Your Selfie Podcast, Episode 46

Welcome back to the Milajki universe, my cosmic weirdOH!s.
Today’s episode is not for the faint-hearted — it’s for the warriors who are currently holding their life together with glitter, coffee, dead laptop batteries, and sheer willpower.

Because babes…
Mercury Retrograde is RETROH!GRADING.
Hard.

If your life has felt like a chaotic circus sponsored by the universe itself, you are NOT alone.
This episode was recorded in the middle of my own personal retrograde hellscape — and yes, I lived to tell the story.

Here’s the behind-the-scenes reality of Episode 46: The Retrograde Rant…

 

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✨ WHAT THE ACTUAL COSMIC F*CK: A MONTH OF PURE CHAOS

My last few weeks have been a live-action documentary called:

“Mercury Retrograde: Burnout Edition — Scandinavian Darkness Cut.”

Highlights include:

• 💀 Laptop battery dead

• ⌨️ Keyboard died last year (the prequel)

• 💻 Borrowing my son’s ancient MacBook that can’t even run GarageBand

• 💸 Sick leave denied by The System™

• 🧾 Bookkeeping, receipts, taxes, bills — the winter horror trilogy

• 🚗 Car needs new winter tires + yet another inspection

• 🪪 Elderly care job miscommunication

• 🦷 Tooth pain + upcoming root filling with savings I don’t have

• 🥶 Flu for a month

• 🐱 Cat with dementia peeing everywhere

• 🚿 Water heater broke (rest in peace, water heater)

• 🧼 Cleaning-cleaning-working-working-repeat

• 🧊 Winter darkness

• ☠️ Money tight

• 🤹🏼 Trying to run Milajki, build digital vaults, write a book, pay off debt, survive the season, AND remember to eat, sleep, and shower

• 🏋️♀️ Cardio sessions on pause because my body battery is at 2%

• ❤️🩹 The avoidant Egypt situationship resurrecting himself with a classic retrograde ghosting arc (“hopw you doing good” — sir, be serious.)

If ONE more appliance breaks, I swear…
I will move into the RainbOH!w Nursing Home with my own characters and call it a life.

✨ Updated IntrOH! Meltdown (LOL)

And because Mercury Retrograde was clearly bored and looking for new ways to bully me…

When I finally managed to borrow a laptop old enough to be in a museum
and finally got into GarageBand after two days of tech gymnastics…

ALL my Milajki Style FactOH!ry jingles — the ones I creative-directed YEARS ago —
were suddenly corrupted.

Couldn’t open them.
Couldn’t convert them.
Couldn’t rename them.
Couldn’t fix them in any online tool.
Not even the sketchy ones that promise to “fix ANY file” for the low price of your personal data.

Then I got a random divine lightbulb moment:

“WAIT…
Aren’t these uploaded on my Milajki artist profile on Spotify from back in the day??”

Cue me digging through emails I don’t remember writing,
logging into old platforms with passwords I definitely never saved,
and resurrecting my Landr account like a digital archaeologist.

AND BABES —
I FOUND THEM.
The original WAV files.
In perfect condition.
From the Milajki vaults of 20-whatever.

Of course.
ONLY during Mercury Retrograde.

And THEN —
because the plot never ends —
my voice recordings started glitching like I’m half human, half broken Bluetooth speaker.

Static.
Weird crackles.
Random robot moments.

Is it my mic?
My son’s prehistoric laptop?
Or am I finally ascending into my true form as an AI robot?

Honestly?
At this point I’m keeping the glitches.
It’s the most on-brand retrograde aesthetic ever.

And I have a 06:50 elderly care shift tomorrow morning.
So fuck it —
we’re blaming everything on Mercury retrograde
and publishing anyway.

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✨ MERCURY RETROGRADE EXPLAINED (THE REAL VERSION)

Let’s break it down simply:

Mercury Retrograde =
Communication chaos + tech failures + travel problems + emotional glitching + exes resurrecting like desert zombies.

It’s the universe’s favorite comedy show.
It’s the cosmic “let me shake your life and see what falls out.”

But here’s the truth:

Retrograde isn’t punishing you —
it’s revealing what needs to be rebuilt.

It exposes:

• weak boundaries

• leaking energy

• outdated patterns

• unbalanced relationships

• broken systems

• and all the things you’ve avoided healing

Retrograde is the cosmic editor.
It deletes what’s not aligned —
even when it stings.

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🌈 DOH!PAMINE DESIGN: MY SURVIVAL STRATEGY

When life falls apart, creativity becomes my medicine.

✨ DOH!pamine design
keeps me grounded, inspired, and emotionally regulated.

This month, survival looked like:

• Decluttering old inventory

• Reorganizing my house

• Selling off physical clutter

• Designing digital vaults

• Adding color back into my life

• Reclaiming one corner at a time

• Turning my home into a DOH!pamine Happy House

This isn’t aesthetic perfection.
This is nervous system regulation.
This is staying sane with sparkles.

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✨ THE POWER OF TINY WINS

Right now big goals are impossible —
but small wins are everything.

A “win” can be:

• Taking a shower

• Sending one email

• Drinking water

• Cleaning one corner

• Paying one bill

• Not texting the Avoidant Egypt Archeologist

• Doing one task

• Resting without guilt

• Choosing joy for 30 seconds

These moments accumulate.
They matter.
They move you forward.

Celebrate the tiny wins.
They’re bricks in your foundation.

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✨ THE VISION: COMMUNITY, CREATIVITY, REBIRTH

While my tech, finances, sanity, and situationship all imploded,
my vision became clearer than ever:

Milajki is not “just a brand.”
It is:

🦄 A sanctuary for the weird, the wounded, and the reborn
🎨 A storytelling universe of AI, art, and magic
🌈 A home for dopamine design
💖 A tribe of creators, dreamers, and survivors
🔥 A space where we evolve together
✨ A movement of unapologetic reinvention

That’s why I created:

🌟 The Level Up Your Selfie SOH!ciety – now on Skool

A supportive, drama-free community for healing, creativity, and glow-ups.

Join us → SKOOL

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💖 OUTRO — You’re Not Failing. You’re Rebuilding.

If your life feels heavy right now —
you’re not broken.

You’re evolving in real time.

Retrograde is clearing space
for your next level.

And babe…
your next level is COMING.

If this episode hit home,
made you laugh,
made you feel seen,
or helped you breathe:

👉 Follow, subscribe, share, and join the tribe.
👉 Join The Level Up Your Selfie SOH!ciety on Skool
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @angelina.milajki

As always…

✨ Extra RainbOH!w Sparkles & Good Vibes OH!nly ✨🦄💦🌈
/ Angelina Mi Lajki

Listen & Follow on Spotify 

😂✨ BONUS CHAOS: Apple Podcasts Said “Not Today, Babe”

And because Mercury Retrograde clearly wasn’t finished throwing cosmic tomatoes at my life…

After finally uploading Episode 46 to Spotify (HALLELUJAH),
I went to publish it on Apple Podcasts like a responsible adult.
Cute idea, right?

Well.
Apple sends the verification code to log in to…
my MacBook.
You know, the one that is completely dead,
battery-less,
and scheduled to be shipped off to France for a two-week repair vacation.

Yes.
My laptop is now living a better life than me.

So I try sending the code to my phone instead — and OF COURSE:

It’s still connected to my OLD number.
The number that no longer exists.
The ghost of a SIM card past.

So I guess the Apple version of this episode
will be fashionably late.
Like “several weeks” late.
Like “Mercury retrograde, you win this round” late.

I’m laughing through the pain.
We’re choosing dark humor today.
We’re embracing the fact that this episode is SO retrograde-coded
that even Apple refused to participate.

Honestly?
It’s iconic.