There are moments in life when the universe cracks something wide open for you — and mine came this summer in the garden of an elderly care home, midsummer music floating through the air.
An old woman I barely knew turned to me and said:
“Life is like a vacation from eternity — just a short break to experience being human.”
Her words landed in my chest like fireworks and truth bombs all at once. And suddenly, everything I thought I knew about aging, about purpose, about performance… shifted.
This is my diary entry to you. My story of life in stages. Of letting go, growing forward, and finding the courage to make it extra ordinary.
The Emptying Nest 🕊️
My oldest son — twenty-one — just told me he’s moving in with his girlfriend.
My youngest — twenty — is ready to live on his own too.
I knew this day was coming. I even planned for it. After their dad ghosted our lives in the most brutal way, my only mission was to keep our little “Trinity” together until they finished high school. That was my battle cry.
And we did it. We stayed in this house — our safe harbor, our war bunker, our home. We split the rent, we ate together, we laughed and fought and healed under the same roof.
But now… the nest is emptying. And it’s beautiful and gut-wrenching all at once.
I’m proud of them beyond words. They saw their mom broken, and they saw me rise again and again. They learned that when life kicks you so hard you can’t breathe, you can still rebuild.
But as they step forward, I stand here asking myself: what now? Do I stay in this house, filled with ghosts of my past life? The bed I once shared with my ex. The attic stuffed with thirty-five thousand pitballs from my old installations. This place has been my fortress, my cage, my reminder of everything I’ve survived.
Maybe it’s time to let go. Maybe it’s time to travel lighter.
Burnout & Betrayal 💔🔥
Once upon a time, I created magic.
Neon selfie museums, rainbow photobooths, weddings, birthdays — worlds so bright that people forgot their problems the moment they stepped inside.
But in the process, I disappeared from my own.
I hid from mirrors. I hated my reflection. My body carried forty extra kilos of exhaustion, stress, and self-abandonment. My ex took the spotlight I built while I worked myself into the ground — designing, marketing, installing, lifting, pushing, ignoring every signal from my body to slow down.
And then came the financial betrayal.
The salaries I thought were mine… weren’t.
The debts I didn’t know about.
The bankruptcy.
Six months fighting with the welfare system, getting nothing.
I thought we’d rebuild together. Ride or die. But instead, he recorded me in my most fragile breakdown… and vanished. Ghosted not only me, but our teenage sons. While I drowned, he was meeting women through my brand. Using my name. My creativity.
That was the day I decided: If I rebuild, it will be with my name. My art. My selfie.
And I will never disappear like that again.
Healing in Unexpected Places 🌿☕
Fast-forward to this summer.
Instead of hustling for another “big project,” I walked light-footed to the elderly care home. Sneakers on pavement. Fresh air in my lungs. No neon lights. No burnout. Just showing up.
That’s where I met her — my midsummer lady.
She almost left early, but when the live music started, she lit up. We sat together, singing old Swedish songs. Later she asked me why I was there, said I didn’t “look like I belonged.” I told her the truth: I needed a break. From hustling. From performing. From being everything to everyone.
Weeks later, I served her breakfast. She had very specific requests: porridge not mixed with lingonberries, milk on the side, coffee in the right cup. Some would’ve rolled their eyes. I smiled. Because sometimes people don’t want porridge — they just want proof that you care.
Then came her shower day. Staff warned me: “She’s difficult.”
But I didn’t see difficult. I saw a woman who wanted to be honored in her own way. I followed every instruction, cracked jokes, made her laugh. And when we finished she said, “Wow. I didn’t scream once. Ask the others — I always scream in the shower.”
Later, over coffee, she told me life is just a short break from eternity.
And for the first time in a long time… I breathed.
The Glow of Aging ✨🌹
Here’s the funny part: nobody believes I’m forty-seven.
The lady at the elderly care home screamed out loud when I told her. A co-worker’s math nearly short-circuited when he heard I had two grown sons. On dating apps, people assume I must have been a teen mom. Even at the liquor store, I still get carded.
And sure, I’ve lost forty kilos. Sure, I’ve worked on my body. But I think the real glow? That’s not skin deep. It’s fire-deep.
It’s joy. It’s gratitude. It’s choosing to create only from what feels real, not what drains me. It’s deciding to love myself loud enough that age can’t mute it.
We’ve been sold this lie that aging makes us less. But every year is another comeback. Another belly laugh. Another story. Another chapter I thought I’d never get to write.
I don’t want to be twenty again. I wouldn’t trade my scars, my wisdom, or my glow for smoother skin. Because maybe the secret isn’t looking younger. Maybe the secret is living so fully that people can’t guess your age — because joy doesn’t wrinkle.
Connection is Everything 🌍💫
The midsummer lady, a child of World War II in Karelia.
Me, a woman from Sweden who once lived in Florida and saw a culture obsessed with surface and status.
You, wherever you are right now, holding your own story in your chest.
Different lives. Different wars. Same truth.
When we share our stories, the walls fall. The surface doesn’t matter. The connection is in the cracks. And that’s where the real magic lives.
Mic-Drop 🎤
If life is just a short vacation from eternity… then maybe the point isn’t to do everything.
Maybe the point is to be here.
To love harder.
To listen longer.
To tell the kind of stories that keep us alive, even after we’re gone.
So don’t wait for the “right” time.
Make your life extra ordinary now.
Because I’m not done living yet. And neither are you.
✨🦄💦🌈 As Always Extra RainbOH!w Sparkles & Good Vibes OH!nly ✨🦄💦🌈
/ Angelina Mi Lajki
